


resolution

by orphan_account



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-06
Updated: 2013-03-10
Packaged: 2017-12-04 12:16:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/710691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's somewhat of a tradition that every year when this team is together for new year's, when the clock strikes midnight, you grab the closest lady and give her a kiss. So naturally, when the countdown starts Alex looks around for Tobin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. the distance just makes it worse

**Author's Note:**

> For the purposes of this piece, neither Hope nor A-Rod are married.
> 
> Loosely based off the song Resolution by Motion City Soundtrack.

_I like the universe_  
 _but she messes with my words_  
 _I'm not talking planets or galaxies_  
 _and the distance just makes it worse_  


The distance, being the fact that Tobin is on the other side of the room, laughing at something with Lauren, and Alex is here, with none but Kelley for company. 

Not that she's complaining. Kelley's great company.

It's just that both of them (it hasn't been said aloud but Alex knows Kelley feels it too) are harbouring unrequited, unspeakable feelings for someone whom they cannot possibly have feelings for.

It's messing with her head.

She would blame it for messing with her speech as well, but she knows that's just the alcohol.

The whole team from the olympics is reunited for the first time in a long time, at a new years eve party in the house Alex shares with Kelley and Tobin. Midnight is fast approaching, but so is unconsciousness for some of the players, judging by the empty bottles of alcohol strewn across the room. Some people, it appears, can't even wait until midnight and Alex feels a tug in her stomach (she can't tell if it's pleasant or painful) when she sees Ashlyn holding Ali to the wall, bodies pressed together, connected at every point, including their lips.

She feels like she's intruding, so she forces herself to look away.

And it just so happens that when she looks away, Tobin looks right at her. There goes any clarity of mind she had before. The eye contact is brief and Tobin flashes her a smile that throws her off completely, before turning her attention back to Lauren.

When she does, Alex turns her attention back to Kelley. Or she would, if Kelley was still by her side.

Or even if Kelley was still in the room, which she isn't. And neither is Hope.

~

Hope had gone outside for air, Kelley assumes, as she waits a full minute (if her drunken brain can count that high) before following her.

She finds her sitting on the front porch, beer bottle in hand, and sits next to her, leaving a full metre between them.

"Hey."

"Hey, Kelley. The stars are pretty tonight." There's a slight slur to Hope's words and Kelley knows she's drunk.

You're pretty tonight too. You're pretty every night, is what she really wants to say, but instead she settles for a feeble "mm-hmm"

They sit like that for a while, too much space in between them, staring upwards at the sky, until Kelley feels Hope's eyes on her.

"Why are you so far away?" Kelley scoots closer, but just barely. There's still enough room for a small body who didn't mind invading personal space in between them. "I didn't mean like that. You've been in you own world all night."

"Sorry I just- I guess that's what alcohol does to you."

"Is it?" Hope's the one moving now, coming to Kelley, until their knees are touching and they're sharing the same air. Their faces are inches apart and even in the depths of Kelley's drunken mind, she knows what's about to happen.

Or what would have happened if Lauren and Tobin hadn't appeared at that exact moment with a cry of, "You're going to miss the countdown!"

~

It's somewhat of a tradition that every year when this team is together for new years, when the clock strikes midnight, you grab the closest lady and give her a kiss. So naturally, when the countdown starts Alex looks around for Tobin. By the time it's reached three she finds her, wrapped up in Laurens arms with Hope and Kelley close behind. 

Alex ends up kissing Abby, which is fine, a quick peck on the lips and it's over, and she can watch everyone else. 

Ashlyn and Ali are still in position and Alex doesn't think they've actually stopped for a break for at least twenty minutes. 

(She can't fault them though. If she was allowed to kiss the woman she wanted to kiss, she wouldn't be able to stop either)

Neither would Kelley, apparently, who has somehow managed to end up with Hope (Hope, who avoids this time every year and rarely participates in the new years kiss. Hope, who's been divorced for six months without dating anybody.) Hope who right now has a hand in Kelley's hair and one on her waist and is showing no sign of stopping anytime soon. 

It makes Alex smile, because Kelley confessed to her late one night several months back, that she thought she might love Hope. It was the night that Alex told Kelley about Tobin. It was the night they became each others safety nets.

But then there's Tobin. Tobin who still hasn't come up for air from kissing Lauren. It sickens Alex to the point where she thinks she might see her drink again, so she pushes past Kelley and Hope to get to the bathroom. 

She's on the floor by the toilet when there's a gentle knock on the door. Alex doesn't turn round, for fear the contents of her stomach might still flow over, but Kelley's face appears at her side as she rubs one hand across her back. 

"You okay?" There's more to the question than a simple yes or no answer. Kelley knows Alex saw Tobin and Lauren.

"Are they still?"

"Yeah."

"Then no. I'm not alright."

The nauseating feeling has passed so Alex leans back against the wall of the bathroom and does something she hasn't done in a long time. She cries over Tobin. 

She cries for more than just Tobin, though. She cries happiness that Hope returned Kelleys feelings, and gratefulness that Kelley's holding her close right now and rocking her gently when she could be somewhere else making out with the love of her life. It reminds her just how great Kelley is, and just how lucky she is to have her.

~

Kelley's still sitting there some time later, cradling a sobbing Alex on the floor of the bathroom, when the handle is rattled, accompanied by a loud banging on the door.

Kelley hears Ali's voice, "Hurry up! Some of us need in there!" followed by the sound of Ashlyn's laughter. 

She feels Alex chuckle despite herself, because they both know that neither Ali nor Ashlyn actually need the toilet. 

"You want to go to bed?" Kelley asks quietly, "I'll tell everyone you're not feeling well."

"No, I'm okay. I'll be fine."

A few minutes later they're greeted by the faces of Ali and Ashlyn (neither of whom spare a second thought for Alex's tear stained face as they rush into the bathroom and lock the door within seconds.)

(There's the unmistakeable thump of a body being pushed up against the door, and it's clear exactly what's happening.)

Hope's standing there too, Kelley notices, and it makes her smile just a little bit.

"You alright, Alex?" All she gets in a barely there nod.

"She'll be fine. Couldn't handle her drinks, this one." Kelley's feeble attempt at a joke gets the desired result, and Alex laughs.

"You know I can go just as hard as you, O'Hara."

She seems okay now, but Kelley knows just how well Alex ca fake it sometimes, so she almost turns down Hope's offer of, "Let's go get some air," just to look after her.

"I'll be fine, Kelley, go on."

So she goes.

~

Alex makes her way back to the table that's currently acting as their bar, and pretends she doesn't see Tobin curled up in Lauren's lap.

As she pours herself another drink, she hears Amy behind her. 

"What are you drinking for?"

The alcohol has made her too confident, too open. "To stop being in love."

She downs her drink in one, and as the blood rushes faster through her body, as she feels the pain slip away, just a little bit, she swears she hears "same," and almost chokes.

She'd always figured Amy was happy with her love life.

She guesses Amy must be as good at pretending as she is.


	2. this probably sounds rehearsed

These parties typically go on all night, until three or four in the morning, so when the clock strikes two and neither Alex nor Amy have slowed down their drinking Tobin starts to notice.

Tobin always notices Alex, so this is nothing new, but it's got to the point where she's worrying.

Tobin doesn't worry. About anything. So it's bad.

"Lauren, I think we should go check on them."

"Hmm?"

"Amy and Alex. I know we're meant to be acting like a couple to make Amy jealous but I think you've driven her to this."

Lauren looks, and sees Amy, clutching to Alex and struggling to stand, and Tobin sees a flash of guilt pass across her face.

"Shit."

Amy, Tobin understands. Lauren's in love with her, she's clearly in love with Lauren, neither of them were willing to do anything about it, so Tobin intervened. She hoped that by getting Lauren to agree to pretend to date her it would drive Amy to do something, anything to bring them together.

Alex on the other hand. Alex was happy. Her and Servando had been broken up for almost two months, and it seemed like she was happier without him than she ever was with him.

_So why is she drinking like she wants to forget something?_

"I'm going to talk to Alex." Tobin starts at the same time that Lauren says, "I should go check on Amy."

They share a smile, because sometimes their synchronisation is so spot on it's scary.

"Good luck, Lauren."

"Thanks. You too."

Before Tobin can even process what she's said, she's gone. Why did she say 'you too'? Lauren didn't know anything about the crush she's been harbouring on Alex for the longest time.

She tells herself that pretending to be a couple tonight had nothing to do with making Alex jealous.

She shakes it off and tries to forget about the twinge low in her stomach when she thought about a confession between her and Alex.

_Don't be silly Tobin. Alex is straight._

~

Alex is too far gone to care how much of an idiot she looks right now, especially because Lauren got up to check on Amy, and Tobin's still sat on the couch, alone.

She thinks that even though they aren't dating, friends should care when friends drink themselves halfway to oblivion.

Maybe a nap would do her some good.

~

Tobin is rising from her seat to go check on Alex when the younger girl falls asleep. On the floor. In the middle of a crowded room. Tobin knows it's not going to end well, so she's by her side in a second, scooping her up bridal style, trying to ignore whatever it is she's feeling.

_She's straight. Stop it Tobin, she's straight._

Alex shifts once she's in her arms, cuddling a little more into her, resting her head against her chest. Alex is taller, but only just, and Tobin has no difficulty carrying her to her bedroom.

She shoots God a quick thank you that the party is in their house, so Alex can go straight to bed.

Alex remains wholly unconscious until Tobin's stripped her of her dress and shoes, so she's left in just her underwear.

She does her best not to look.

(It doesn't work)

Alex is tucked into the bed before she stirs at all, shifting slightly. Tobin's halfway out the door when she hears her voice.

"Tobs?" It's full of hope, and longing, and unspoken questions that neither of them know the answers to.

"Yeah, Lex. I'm here." Tobin re-enters the room and sits on the bed, resting her hand on Alex's calf through the comforter.

"I like you."

"I like you too." Tobin doesn't know where this is going, all she knows is Alex is drunk beyond reason, so anything she says doesn't really count unless she can say it sober too.

"Will you kiss me?"

"Alex, you're drunk." Tobin won't make eye contact because if she does she knows that Alex will see her heart beating a hundred times faster and the desire in her eyes that she can't seem to hide tonight.

(She'd been doing so well up until now.)

Alex looks Tobin dead in the eye, and Tobin can see her vision's cloudy. She knows Alex won't remember this in the morning.

"I'm drunk because of you. I love you. I wanted to stop loving you."

_She's confusing you with Servando._

"Go to sleep, Alex."

She leaves before Alex sees her cry.

~

Kelley doesn't know how long she's been outside when Tobin appears silhouetted in the doorway. There's tear tracks visible on her cheeks, despite the darkness between them.

Hope notices too.

Theres a strange sort of dynamic between Hope and Tobin, Kelley thinks. They've roomed together more than once, but you wouldn't think them to be friends. Maybe they aren't even friends. Allies would probably be a term closer to the truth. You still wouldn't think it unless you saw moments like these.

Where Hope leaves Kelley with a whisper of, "go check on Alex," and gathers Tobin in her harms, resting her chin on Tobin's head. Where they stand, just like that, with Hope rubbing a hand up and down Tobin's back until Kelley's gone. Maybe even after that, she doesn't know. They're funny that way.

When Kelley gets to Alex's room, she finds her asleep, and all she can do is flick the light off and close the door almost completely. Alex hates to be completely shut in. She always leaves the door open, just a crack.

~

Tobin's sobs don't stop when she's in Hope's arms. If anything, they get harder, shaking her to the bone.

"What happened, baby?" It's something no one would expect from Hope. It surprises even Tobin sometimes, Hope being gentle. It's something she only does for two people; Tobin, because of their friendship that nobody understands, and Kelley, who Hope's been head over heels in love with for a long time.

Only Tobin knew the last part, or at least, until tonight. Kelley and Hope making out against the wall of the house probably meant Kelley knew too, or at least a part of it.

It's a few minutes before Tobin con find it in her to answer.

"She looked me in the eye and told me she loved me." She sobs so hard she doesn't know how Hope understands her, "She's so drunk she thought I was Servando."

"Tobin, you know I love you, but you're a fucking idiot sometimes." Hope pulls away to look at her. "Alex loves you."

"No she doesn't. She's drunk."

"Didn't you wonder why? Alex never drinks much. She saw you making out with Lauren. She was crying to Kelley in the bathroom for thirty minutes."

"I only did it to help make Amy jealous." Tobin's voice is nothing more than a whisper now, realisation setting in.

"Well you made someone else jealous along the way. You need to go fix this. Kelley's with her right now."

So she goes.

~

Alex may have drank far too much too quickly, but as she stumbles from her bed to the bathroom across the hall, she realises she's going to throw it all up again far too quickly.

And she does. There's nobody there to hold her hair back and she doesn't really care. She doesn't even taste it in her mouth. All she can feel is Tobin's words echoing through her right after she told her she loved her. Go to sleep Alex. That's all she said.

When Alex feels like she can't be sick any more, she leans back against the wall, the cool tile jolting her back to reality. Now that most of the alcohol is out of her system, she feels almost sober; enough to think semi-rationally at least.

_You told Tobin you love her. And she rejected you. You're an idiot._

She somehow makes it back to her bed before the sadness fully consumes her.

~

Tobin stops outside Alex's door. It's closed fully. That means something's really wrong. The last time Alex had her door closed like this, she had broken up with Servando.

Tobin's written a note, with the intentions of sneaking in, leaving it where Alex would see it, and sneaking out. When she opens the door just a crack and sees the light's on, she knows that won't happen.

It's a confrontation she doesn't think she can deal with, but she has to anyway.

Alex has her back to the door when she enters. Her shoulders are shaking and Tobin doesn't even want to think that she might be the cause of it

(She knows she is.)

"Hey Lex, you awake?"

The only sign that Alex has even heard her is the sudden stillness of her body on the bed.

"I- uh, I know you probably don't want to see me right now."

If Tobin listened carefully enough in the silence that followed she would have heard Alex breathing out, "I always want to see you."

"I just- Alex, I don't know what to say, but I know you can hear me, and I need you to tell me why you're so upset right now. Please."

"You know why." It's soft, and barely there, but at the same time it's laced with hurt and betrayal and sadness, and it breaks Tobin's heart.

She sits down on Alex's bed, and rubs a hand over her shoulder, pretending not to notice when Alex flinches away from her touch.

"Alex, look at me please."

_I know what you're thinking,_   
_this probably sounds rehearsed_

Tobin wishes now she did have something rehearsed. Instead, when Alex turns and looks at her, tears threatening her eyes again, all Tobin can do is wrap a hand around the back of her neck and crash their lips together.

The kiss is slow, and deep, and doesn't last as long as either of them would like, but Alex is still a little drunk and it's fast approaching four in the morning, so Tobin pulls away.

"Where are you going?"

"Nowhere, don't worry." Tobin reaches over to flick off the light before kicking off her shoes and climbing into bed behind Alex, still fully clothed. "Go to sleep now, Alex. I'll still be here when you wake up."

When Alex's breathing evens out Tobin knows she's done the right thing.

~

When Lauren and Amy approach Kelley hand in hand and say goodbye, Kelley realises how late it is. When Lauren throws a wink over her shoulder, Kelley knows how their night is going to end.

Hope's arms wrap around Kelley's waist unexpectedly with a mumble of, "I'm tired, let's go to bed," and a quick brush of lips against the back of her neck. Kelley guesses how her night is going to end too. The thought makes her stomach tingle.

Everyone's gone now, unsurprisingly. It's four fifteen and Kelley doesn't think she could stay awake any longer if it wasn't for the invitation in Hope's voice.

"You go on, I'm going to check on Tobin and Alex."

She finds them, of course, wrapped up together, and it makes all the time she's spent comforting Alex worth it.

When she makes it to her room and Hope is already out cold on the bed, Kelley is surprised to find she doesn't mind at all. Instead she lays down beside her, with only the energy to type out one tweet before sleep consumes her.

_@kohara19: What can I say? It's been one hell of a night..._


End file.
